So, I totally forgot that I made this blog until I was editing my facebook page tonight and realized I had this set as my website. Oops. Sorry all. A few things have changed since I last posted.
I've been fasting most of the week and it has now become very normal to me. I'm just not hungry. However, I was force-fed today which was a bit traumatic. Also, that happened while I was visiting my grandma who lives in an assisted living home. It's like a fucking hospital. I hate it. I actually had to eat the food there and I was VERY tempted to throw it up and, because she has a hearing aid that she never has turned up enough, I doubt she would have heard. But I didn't. Instead I just pushed my food around and refused dessert no matter how much she prodded and questioned my motives. So I ended up eating 1 cup of mashed potatoe and 1/2 cup steamed veggies (nice portions dumb ass why can't they just serve salad???) which adds up to about 260 calories. More than I've eaten in the past 3 days, but not fatal. What was regretable, was the dinner I was force-fed by my sister (all in the same day?really?two people?) which was a meatless spinach lasagna. I have no clue how much was in it. So, when I got home I ate a protein bar and drank a bunch of water and threw up. It was great. It didn't feel much like the bulimia I'm used to, though. It was just like, this is my circumstance and I'm doing the best I can. It wasn't completely unpleasant.
Tomorrow I'm starting my fasting again with my new friend :) I love the support.
SSTT
Mia
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